Today is my 14 year old sons Confirmation. Confirmation for the kids is the one time of the year that my husband and I go to the ex Mother-in-Law's house. (I am on very good terms with her) Before you think I'm snotty or booshie, stop. There are certain occasions that I think call for dressing up. Church, Temple, First Communion, Confirmation, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, birthday parties, Christmas, Thanksgiving etc... It never fails when we attend gatherings at the ex In-Laws that EVERY SINGLE cousin (ages 22 to 4) is dressed like they are going to play a pick up game of football. T-shirts, sports shorts, ripped pants, hair a mess, dirty tennis shoes or rubber flip flops. It's not about showing off your kids or forcing them to dress the way they don't want to. (even though in a round a bout way you are) It's about showing your host common courtesy of the event your were invited to and acknowledging that it is as important to you as it is to your host. I make my kids shower, cut hair if necessary, clean/cut fingernails, clean pressed dress clothes on and clean "nice" shoes. By the time we get to any of these events my children (all 5) look like they should be on magazine covers compared to the cousins. Why would adults take the time to dress appropriately to attend an event and then allow their children to look like they rolled out of bed and throw on something they picked up off the floor?