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Sunday, September 16, 2012

Have you ever scared your husband so bad that he said.....

Ok, so I have A LOT of stuff going on right now. I found out a few months ago that my mother is dying of Small Cell Lung Cancer and my father has COPD. They are divorced. I have not spoken to either one of them in almost 10 years until a family member called to tell me what was going on. There is a long history to the relationships but I'll spare you the story for a later time. I've battled depression my entire life and have had it under control for the last 9 years or so. (see the time line?)  Anywho, the recent news has given me a bit of a set back. I recognized it quickly and got myself to  my "my brain is fucked up" doctor pretty quickly. She gave me some meds to help keep my brain in check and to help me sleep. I had been hanging in there and keeping things straight with no hiccups to speak of until recently.  The oldest boy decided that I had done something wrong and launched into a "you only think of yourself" series of text messages.  This kid has NO IDEA what I have sacrificed to make sure he has had a good life.

Long story short (too late) my husband came home and asked how my day was. (oops) I told him what the oldest had done and proceeded to have an EPIC meltdown. This meltdown ended with me realizing that all I wanted was my mommy. Yep, you heard it. I wanted my mom. I haven't talked to her in years and right now the person I needed the most was dying.  Did I mention EPIC MELTDOWN?  This little ungrateful shit (which they all are at this age) hasn't even asked how my mother is doing.

Back to the title:  I guess I scared my husband so bad that I must have temporarily fried his brain cells because as he was telling me everything was going to be ok he asked, "do you want me to drive you to the grocery store so you can get out of the house?"

God I love that man.

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